What It Looks Like

It amazes me how much we assume and judge people and their situations off of what we perceive. I guess that is just the human way. I've learned quickly that it is not a fair assessment of someone's life to conclude things about them without a full picture. God took time to use me and show me through a personal situation what the reality is, only He knows what a person is fully capable of and anything other than that is subject to change.Working at Lowes has shown me just how skewed and limited our perceptions are towards each other. Some customers see us as associates at Lowes, treat us like paupers, and appreciate us as much as slaves were appreciated back in the day. Knowing my associates, I see artists, singers, hair technicians, chefs, survivors, and so many other awesome titles. It is fine, because customers aren't suppose to see all of those things. Let's make this personal.

I love when people form their opinions about me or assume things about me off of a few interactions. They look at me and see this chocolate woman, smart, thick, sometimes quiet, sometimes outlandish who works as a greeter at Lowes. Some contractors assume I'm trying to catch a "baller" type, and that if I'm not single, I'm willing to step out on my man for the right price. *I wish you could see my face right now* They think I'm looking for a meal ticket and that I'll give up my sugar if they can afford to be my daddies. *sigh*

They have no idea that I'm a God-fearing, God-loving Christian who is still being delivered from my serpent tongue. *Guard the doors of my mouth, Jesus* They don't know that I've never had a handout, that I'm giving and loving. They have no idea that I'm passionate about community outreach. That I've been working on becoming a travel agent so that I can offer affordable opportunities for people in my community to see something else besides the hood. They have no idea I'm in school full time and working on THREE part time jobs. They have no idea I create style designs and assist in marketing for companies that are blossoming in the fashion industry. They have no idea I'm a poet, writer, someone who loves music and dance. I work for a non-profit that promotes Autism Awareness and support for families affected by it. They don't know my love of fitness and healthy eating. My entrepreneurial spirit is invisible to them. They don't see the ambition and determination. They have no way of knowing that my age has nothing to do with my maturity level, I'm book and street smart, graduated with a 3.89 GPA at a prestigious private academy, I'm victorious over things that should have killed me and the smile on my face was EARNED not given. 

I don't mention these things to people unless I'm sharing with them how God has been moving in my life and allowed me to get where I am with a clear focus on where I am going. I don't feel the need to boast about what I do, because with all of those great things in tow, they still don't define me. 

ENCOURAGEMENT: Most people will write you off because of what you look like now. That is their ignorance, grace them. Just like God doesn't allow you to look like all the things you have been through, trust that you cannot base your destination on what your current situation looks like. Feelings change, don't base your destiny off of a feeling that with TV, a song, chocolate, or another opinion can change. Trust God to complete the work He started, even if it is behind the scenes. Know that He is faithful to do it, and everything is not always what it looks like. 

New Experiences, Dreaming

Every day almost, I have been dreaming about the house I want to live in and the car I want to drive..basically the life I want to live.

I'm thinking it is time to sacrifice some things to make it happen. I don't want to dream my life away. The how needs to be mapped out and implemented. Lord, guide my steps.

A friend/co-worker and I will hopefully go to the gun range(my first time) and do some practice. I always wanted to get my gun license and motorcycle license but that is something different. LOL

I am trying to do kickboxing classes for cardio this summer and to tone this gelatin like body of mine. I also want to transition into a vegan lifestyle... I want a whole foods card and a membership to BJs!!!

All things in God's time if He approves my plans.

Religious

How do you please an all perfect God? It's in the word and it definitely has nothing to do with all these deeds.. No pride zone.

Could it be that we are supposed to be so in love and relationship with God that we just want to do those things that please Him. Abide in Him. It's a theory I plan to explore...

Am I Ready?

Sitting in my room, browsing Facebook, I've been looking at various statuses and advice on relationships. God hit me with a question.. Are you truly ready? If I presented you with the man you dream of would you be ready to receive him?

BLOWN! I'm so unprepared for him. WOW! It's such a revelation to my heart,mind and spirit. I'm not ready for him and perhaps he isn't ready for me. There is so much I have to commit to in Christ and so very much I need to submit to God. I'm not ready for the physical representation of the love I want and its liberating to know that.

I said,"Thank You, God" and He brought to mind the image of Him kissing me on my forehead. I can be so stubborn and He knows that. Yet He still loves me..and graces me. I'm super humbled and in the best kind of love possible. So, I ask God please hide me in your heart Precious Savior. Grow me, deliver me, teach me, empower me, strengthen me, to submit to You daily and walk in your love and wisdom.

I'm madly in love for real yall...<3

Why You Mad?

Dumbfounded. Again. I woke up dumbfounded about my behavior at work last night. I sat right in the midst of my emotions and joined in on the gossip, cussing and the whole bit. Disappointment set in this morning. In some ways I still believe I'm supposed to be perfect.

I'm having the most difficult time forgiving myself over these transgressions. I think I'm stuck in a worse state than before. I want to change, be better than I am, go back to the way I was when I didn't cuss, refrained from gossip...

I keep getting invitations to go places and party hard, but I know in my heart I should not go in that atmosphere. Torn because my definition of fun is changing but some old ways still entice. What to do? *sigh*

I am just going to release myself from the foolishness, walk in freedom, and not hypocrisy.

Greater is He

Yesterday I was watching a sermon by Myles Munroe in which he spoke of the importance of having a vision and directly dealt with the scripture of focus yesterday. "Commit your plans to the Lord and they will succeed" for a translation.

During the sermon, he encouraged is to write out a vision for our lives, inclusive of what God has called us to do, the dream He put in our hearts. So, on the computer I busted out a 4 page vision, detailing school, life, business, spiritual development, everything. I also wrote a more detailed 6 month to 2 year plan. Then I said, If its in your will Father, I trust these things to you as I seek you first!

I didn't bother with it anymore last night. Today, I woke up after an elaborate dream in which power filled the words "Greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world." I kept saying it in the dream and I literally saw healing come forth. People were changed. Wow. I woke up with that scripture in my mind heavily.

After I woke up, I got into my word, spent some time with God and I'm completely encouraged that God is working things out around me as I seek His face. Psalms 23-27 were helping me pour out my heart to God and showing Him how much I truly love and trust Him!!

I'm so happy. I am carrying this joy in my heart. Today, God presented an opportunity to me that I had been dodging, but I stepped out on faith and now this blessing is chasing me down! God is so good. Just trust Him. Chase Him. I want to learn His ways so I can please Him! "Seek Ye first the KINGDOM!!! I get it and I'm humbled and amazed, my faith is getting stronger and I'm clinging more to Him with every step.

What Is Different about Me

Laying in bed, spending time with my King, I just see things so differently. We had a serious talk and I admitted some things to Him about how I'm feeling and insecurities I'm working through. He knew, of course. He always knows. I feel so wrapped in His love, I just want to stay here. I finally understand that in His presence there is fullness of joy.

Defining time, defining moments for me are taking place. I'm developing my standard and learning to not compromise it. Everyone wants to have their success, love story etc but its not worth it at the cost of losing God. Hmmm. I truly am curious and expectant of His will for me. So, I color outside of the lines of society, paving my own way in the reality that is Christ and His sacrifice, God and His will. I trust Him. As my candles burn, and my mind is emptied of fear tactics from satan and his minions, I embrace the truth about God and love Him all the more. He's perfect and He sees me as useful, loveable. I have much to be excited about...more reasons to be different for Him.