Dumbfounded. Again. I woke up dumbfounded about my behavior at work last night. I sat right in the midst of my emotions and joined in on the gossip, cussing and the whole bit. Disappointment set in this morning. In some ways I still believe I'm supposed to be perfect.
I'm having the most difficult time forgiving myself over these transgressions. I think I'm stuck in a worse state than before. I want to change, be better than I am, go back to the way I was when I didn't cuss, refrained from gossip...
I keep getting invitations to go places and party hard, but I know in my heart I should not go in that atmosphere. Torn because my definition of fun is changing but some old ways still entice. What to do? *sigh*
I am just going to release myself from the foolishness, walk in freedom, and not hypocrisy.
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